How To Catch a Rabbit Under Your Couch

White Rabbit - Jefferson Airpl...

It's not often I've found myself chasing rabbits. Playing golf in Arizona you encounter many of them, but you don't (usually) chase them, and you certainly don't try to catch them. I've seen many people try, and none succeed.

Tonight, while my daughter was eating dinner, and my wife and I were sitting with her, my wife turned to me and said "there's a rabbit in the family room."

We don't have a rabbit. We have two cats, Floyd and Alice. They're both pains in the butt in their own special ways, but they have yet to bring a rabbit into the house. Birds, sure. Lizards, yes. Rabbits, no. I thought maybe it was a rat, or mouse. I'd seen a small mouse (rat?) outside a few months ago but I've never actually seen rabbits at our house, let alone in our house. We don't live in the middle of the desert (it's pretty suburban) so we don't see many rabbits.

This was a pretty little guy. Here's a picture of him, while eating a little Green Delight (don't mind the couch. I could kill those cats sometimes).


Right when Lizi said it I looked over and he ran into a corner. We thought we had him cornered but then he ran behind the entertainment console, where he buried himself beneath the mess of wires (it really is incredible how many wires you have if you've got a lot of stuff hooked up - power cables, component cables, hdmi, optical, etc). Eventually, he found his way under the couch, where we tried to chase him into a box, which worked...except that he actually jumped out of the box. I thought maybe I could 'rabbit whisper' him back into the box. That didn't work very well. Here is a picture of my post-rabbit whisper attempt. Do not try this. It doesn't work.


I had obviously underestimated my bushy-tailed foe. So, the following is what you need the next time you've got a rabbit under your couch. This is a two person job, unless circumstances do not allow.

• 2 long handled sticks
• box - big enough so he can't jump out
• pillow - or something to cover box
• flashlight
  
• lettuce and/or carrots
• 2 1/2 year old little girl to 'help'

You need to stuff the bottom of the couch so the rabbit can't get out. He must be contained. Pillows and blankets work well for this step. After we stuffed the bottom of the couch, we actually ate dinner while he (she?) was eating some nice carrots under the couch. I think that was a win-win for both of us. Take some time to gather your thoughts. Relax. Wine might help.

When ready, you need to identify where the rabbit is. Maneuver one of the sticks so the rabbit can't get past it. You will create a 'wave' effect - and push the rabbit toward the box. Next, you will use the second stick to gently guide rabbit towards the box. Inside the box is more Green Delight, as well as some carrots. Once the rabbit enters the box, slide the pillow over the top, securing our friend inside. If it's a 'normal', brown cardboard box, use the sides to help lock the pillow on the box.

At this point transport the box to somewhere you can let the rabbit out, and let him feel free again.

I hope you don't ever need to use these instructions, but if you do, hopefully this will help.